Heavenly Father, look down us, your humble obedient servants, who are
doomed to travel this earth taking photographs, mailing poscards, buying
souvenirs and walking around in drip-dry underwear.  Dear Lord, make sure
while preparing for this trip we packed half as many clothes as we think
we may need and twice as much money.  We beseech you, O Lord, to see that
our luggage is not lost and that our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where the wine is included in
the price of the meal.  Give us the wisdom to tip correctly in currencies
we do not understand.  Make the natives love us for what we are and not
what we can contribute to their worldly goods.  Grant us strength to
visit the museums, the cathedrals, the palaces, and if we skip a historic
monument to take a nap after lunch, have mercy on us, for our flesh is
weak.

Dear Lord, protect our wives from "bargains" they don't need or can't
afford.  Lead them not into temptation for they know not what they do.
Almighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and
comparing them to us.  Save them from making fools of themselves in
nightclubs.  Above all, please do not forgive them their trespasses for
they know exactly what they do. 

And when our voyage is over, grant us the favor of finding someone who
will look at our home movies and listen to our stories so that our lives
as tourists will not have been in vain.  This we ask in the name of
Conrad Hilton, Thomas cook and American Express.

Amen